Once, Twice, Three Times a Blogger

23rd August 2017

Here’s a tip right out of the gates. Just because you like the sound of crediting someone as ‘Boris Becker; German Spelling Checker’ in your novel, doesn’t mean said sportsman will have any interest. He might just think you’re taking the piss, and get no more in touch with you than he did me.

Context can be a difficult thing to navigate when opening communication, but try not to take it personally and reply to their cold shoulder by telling them that you preferred Stefan Edberg anyway. You move along and find someone else. I’m sure that Bruce Jenner will get back to me with the answer to his favourite strength of cheddar. I’m a number five type of person, but that’s in imperial and I’m not sure that his answer might not get lost in some transatlantic numerical confusion. What if the answer is a two, but his cheese options run out at three? Should I have said that I was a five to begin with? I’d hate to get the situation confused and end up feeling a fool, or offending. He’s pretty fast, too remember. I wouldn’t bet on escaping his cheese rage even if I was wearing springs on my feet and he somehow ended up with the high heels.

Damn, I’m going to see what he’s been up to in retirement. I don’t tend to catch up with all the nuances of sporting news; I’ve only recently discovered that Mike Tyson tattooed his own face in for instance.

Bruce seemed pretty down to earth though so I’ll probably find nothing. In fact I’ll do that now, hold on… Continue reading “Once, Twice, Three Times a Blogger”

The Long Blog Goodnight

16th August 2017

I’m going to speak straight from my brain and consider things that will leave Anna thinking that most of you reading will soon leave due to offense. I’m going to talk about political allegiances and the gulf between what you’re told about peoples principals, compared to what you actually discover when you let people talk you through what they think, and why.

No, of course I’m not going to do that! Quite where you think you’ve wandered I’ve no idea! Continue reading “The Long Blog Goodnight”

A manageable, pro attention deficient bite sized edition of the JW Bowe Interview to Stack Cave Mind podcast.

JW Bowe is aided and abetted into chit chat by his conversational play mate, Arthur Wapkaplitt. Arthur gives JW the cold-pressed, hardest interview that he has ever encountered.

Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman Walk into a Blog…

8th August 2017

It’s still summer, it’s still raining, and if you’ve not been to a get-together, shindig, or garden party, I’ve got some tips that might aid you in having a reasonable time.

Firstly, or most obviously, take some light waterproofing with you. I know you’ll look up at the skies before you leave and think you’re safe. You might even throw your cardigan back onto your clothes chair. That’s fine, but if you live on the same island that I do, you gotta know that you should know better than that. I didn’t last weekend and that ended up being no-one else’s fault but mine. I’m not suggesting that you should arrive in a full fisherman’s outfit; if you can park close, leave them in the boot. Otherwise tuck them into your bum bag and take a big breath. You are about to garden party. Continue reading “Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman Walk into a Blog…”

JW Bowe is aided and abetted into chit chat by his conversational play mate, Arthur Wapkaplitt. They recall the hot air balloon that they both saw earlier that day, and wonder about wicker basket safety. Later, Arthur gives JW the cold-pressed, hardest interview that he has ever encountered.

JW Bowe is joined by Arthur Wapkaplitt, Antiguan drummer Olugbala Kokumo and more in an evening discussing music and everyday inspiration.

ROLL OUT THE BARRELS!

STOP THE CLOCK!

The scene was tense, and as off-camber as a poorly adjusted pair of knickers. The Russian looking chap who’d brought along his spectacles, stared at the chess board. He’d spent five years moving the pieces around, and always with the same old hands that he’d moved most things about with for his entire life.

He wasn’t bored with his hands, he liked them both enough that either one could come in a tie for Hand’s first place. But they were itchy; they’d been listening to that little clock tick away for five years, and now they wanted to form a fist and smash that clock into something ruined and littler. The man’s arms knew this, and they would have nothing to do with it. This aggravated the hands further, but they were patient…

Then the moment happened; the stress grafted man made his move on the board and his right fist came down on the clock and crushed it as if it were no more than an empty cherry bakewell casing. The man sat back in his chair, took a bite on his bakewell and adjusted his knickers. Contented that his work was done, he only then realised that it was his move of the game, and he was his only opponent.

The above might perhaps be the only way to announce that The Meifod Claw is now available in a whole merry-go-round of formats! If you carry a trumpet with you, now would be the time… Continue reading “ROLL OUT THE BARRELS!”

Cave Mind: Canapés

Do you sometimes think that things that are long are sometimes too long?

JW Bowe didn’t, not until he once had to cram a breadstick into his penny purse. He made it fit, but it changed his opinion on length and longness.

Fittingly, Serious Biscuits has now condensed JW Bowe’s Podcast series Cave Mind into manageable, pro attention deficient bite sized editions called Cave Mind; Canape.

Previous episodes, and all future recording will adhere to this stringent new regime.

We hope that these 20 minute tasters fit into your day, and understanding of negative length.

You’re welcome.

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