Once, Twice, Three Times a Blogger

23rd August 2017

Here’s a tip right out of the gates. Just because you like the sound of crediting someone as ‘Boris Becker; German Spelling Checker’ in your novel, doesn’t mean said sportsman will have any interest. He might just think you’re taking the piss, and get no more in touch with you than he did me.

Context can be a difficult thing to navigate when opening communication, but try not to take it personally and reply to their cold shoulder by telling them that you preferred Stefan Edberg anyway. You move along and find someone else. I’m sure that Bruce Jenner will get back to me with the answer to his favourite strength of cheddar. I’m a number five type of person, but that’s in imperial and I’m not sure that his answer might not get lost in some transatlantic numerical confusion. What if the answer is a two, but his cheese options run out at three? Should I have said that I was a five to begin with? I’d hate to get the situation confused and end up feeling a fool, or offending. He’s pretty fast, too remember. I wouldn’t bet on escaping his cheese rage even if I was wearing springs on my feet and he somehow ended up with the high heels.

Damn, I’m going to see what he’s been up to in retirement. I don’t tend to catch up with all the nuances of sporting news; I’ve only recently discovered that Mike Tyson tattooed his own face in for instance.

Bruce seemed pretty down to earth though so I’ll probably find nothing. In fact I’ll do that now, hold on… Continue reading “Once, Twice, Three Times a Blogger”

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