Blog. the Scent of Enlightenment, by Buddha ™

10th August 2019

My wife and I were drugged by a Buddhist monk once. For reals. Apparently he was enlightened but we only had his word to go on about that. I can say for certain that he was a decent business man because he sold us some of his home brew jazz cd’s while we were there (he was a local business man of the year). That was after the scented tea drug (he was a local business man of the year). Afterwards I drove home across the country with a headache. Part of the way home from the tranquility garden that we’d gone to visit, I said to Anna that I was thinking of bloody driving back to said monk to say that if he’s in the market for popping enlightenment then I’m sure that such drugs already exist. Unless enlightenment is supposed to feel like a headache. Years earlier I’d hung out around the fringes of Das Western Buddhist Order and generally found enlightening to be no more harmful than it was a hassle. Anyway that tea was dreadful to drive under, like an endless Blob Dildo anthem blasting from a puja circle within the oscillations of my mind-brain. I couldn’t even have a go on the worry beads he’d flogged us because I was busy with the steering wheel. Ridiculous.

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Back on the Blog

9th February 2019

Okay … let’s see if this old engine still runs. Going to have to drag it off the bench where it’s been left with some old tarpaulin for cover. It might have forgotten how to work but there’s still a veneer of fuel left in the tank, enough to pump through if we can find the little teat? They’re always hidden away in some crevice that you forget about. Best give a good few presses as well because that carburettor is not going to want to join in unless it really has no choice. All good? Then let us pray, then pull the cord.

So what’s it like to survive being born again to Christianity? Well, if that cord pulls true then we’ll know, but in the meantime I’ve got some field notes for you. Continue reading “Back on the Blog”

Blogged in the Head

24th June 2017

I worked something out yesterday; the ash tree is so useful for burning and sounding fresh in a high breeze, it’s no wonder they don’t really catch people’s eye when growing next to a tree of rare beauty, like the redwood, or bonsai. All that pale bark and power-in-numbers foliage, it’s as if they fell out of God’s utility pocket and hit every branch of some other ugly tree on their way down to root.

Continue reading “Blogged in the Head”

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