STOP THE CLOCK!

The scene was tense, and as off-camber as a poorly adjusted pair of knickers. The Russian looking chap who’d brought along his spectacles, stared at the chess board. He’d spent five years moving the pieces around, and always with the same old hands that he’d moved most things about with for his entire life.

He wasn’t bored with his hands, he liked them both enough that either one could come in a tie for Hand’s first place. But they were itchy; they’d been listening to that little clock tick away for five years, and now they wanted to form a fist and smash that clock into something ruined and littler. The man’s arms knew this, and they would have nothing to do with it. This aggravated the hands further, but they were patient…

Then the moment happened; the stress grafted man made his move on the board and his right fist came down on the clock and crushed it as if it were no more than an empty cherry bakewell casing. The man sat back in his chair, took a bite on his bakewell and adjusted his knickers. Contented that his work was done, he only then realised that it was his move of the game, and he was his only opponent.

The above might perhaps be the only way to announce that The Meifod Claw is now available in a whole merry-go-round of formats! If you carry a trumpet with you, now would be the time… Continue reading “ROLL OUT THE BARRELS!” →