27th March 2017 Bloggleheim

A Dear John letter to my electronic mail…

Hi there email.

John here. You remember me? Yeah I know we don’t talk much. We never did, did we; I just avoid you and get other people to put my words into you. It’s not your fault; though I’m not saying that it’s mine either. I’m definitely saying it’s not me, but anyway I recognise that we don’t get along, we don’t see eye to eye. From my point of view, if you’d have had eyes to begin with then this would have been a lot easier to be honest. No, I know that’s not your fault; I only came here to say that I’m going to be using you more often, try and make an effort. Am I lying? Well yeah, of course I am. I’m not even going to put what I’m writing here online myself. I just wanted to make peace with you before we get going but I’m beginning to think that you can go swivel. I just can’t take you seriously.

All the best for the future, maybe we can be just friends when it’s all settled. I’d like to think we shared some goods times together, but it’d feel like rhetoric because we never did learn each other’s name to begin with.

So all the best,

Dear John xx

I feel better already.

We did a bit of testing with the website today; it went live until bedtime. Brace yourself for some sentiment now as I say a sincere thank you to everyone who has aided us in getting this far. Thank you. That feels better to get out as well. If you’d like to feel that you are a part of my next outburst of gratitude then help yourself and let others know about Serious Biscuits. Or else go both barrels and hook up with Serious Biscuits on Patreon. I’d appreciate that, and that’s before you’ve done anything. A thumbs up might be coming your way if you do go further.

While I’m getting excited I might as well add that the MotoGP delivered in Qatar last weekend, and I ain’t just talking about the tight leather that them boys get to be masticated in while they’re having a jolly around the track. All daydreaming aside, if you’re not currently a fan of the premier class of motorcycle racing then pick the baton up because we’re just the first race into the season and as the next round is in Argentina, anything could happen. Maybe Lorenzo will have the lean angle sorted on his Duke by then. If you know me then you already know that I’ll be hoping that he hasn’t.

Sports are unlimited for providing pantomime villainy and Lorenzo is my Shere Khan (favourite film villain). Trouble is that you want Khan fresh for the hunt, not wobbling about like he’s on a unicycle trying to do an impression of himself on his old Yamaha. We’ll have to see if I start feeling sorry for him.

And what of the local British talent out there? Crutchlow’s going to be fast like always. He crashes faster than anyone. He’d be Cato if I got to dress the entire grid as my favourite film characters. Of course that would leave fellow Brit Bradley Smith as R2-D2, but that’s no problem because he came with wheels, didn’t he?

Excuse me if that section was all about motorbike racing. Unless you tune in as well in which case you’ll understand and already be getting in touch to ascribe Valentino Rossi into the costume of Monkey. He almost doesn’t need the suit, but I agree with you.

Anyway you love, we know how you feel…

JW Bowe xx

P.S. Anna urges me to point out that if you want to come around and watch the motorbikes with John, then you are welcome. But do please stand back and look out as he (I) generally likes to run around the walls while making motorbike noises on the final laps.

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